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In an effort to feel more comfortable with my sexuality, I went to Oasis Aqualounge to discover the world of sex-positivity. Oasis Aqualounge is known as a women-friendly sex-positive club, meaning visitor safety and comfortability is taken seriously. I was once a people-pleasing dork with a particularly loud shame wizard thanks, Big Mouth. But through university and doing stand-up, I began growing into a loud and proud lady, unafraid of embarrassment.
I made it my goal to start dismantling the shame that plagued me as a teen, beginning with the most tantalizing aspect: sexuality. I went to my first sex-positive warehouse party at the Kinky Salon in London, England. It was a magical place and it made me feel like a basement nerd who had discovered their first Comic-Con.
Now that I live in Toronto, I want to find that same magic and help others find their inner freaks. Consent therefore plays a huge role at the club.
Before entering the venue, you must agree to the one ask rule: If you ask someone if they want to do something once, and they say no, you are not allowed to ask again. On the first and third Thursdays of the month, Oasis runs an event called First Taste, a comparatively quiet night where the staff provide a tour and answer questions for first-timers. This night is exclusively for women and couples, and on my tour, there were three couples, an older self-proclaimed cougar and me. We visited each room of the converted 19th-century mansion, including a red orgy room, a performance area with a stage for shows and a s room called the Shagging Wagon, complete with half an old Volkswagon bug, which someone nearby noted was slightly more charming than it was practical.
The tour ended in the BDSM room, where we were invited to take a seat. I sat on a leather chaise lounge while the other woman in our group went straight for the sex swing. What a queen. Our tour guides talked about the events they hosted the high tea steampunk night particularly peaked my interest and answered questions. The club even tries its best to make a night of it, uniting people with the same kinks.